Date: 2018-05-12 11:49
Thank you for writing about this. Honestly I 8767 m surprised that you didn 8767 t receive a lot of backlash from those who think porn is fine and even healthy. I don 8767 t think porn is OK, not to watch individually or even as a couple. And I completely disagree with the person who said women watch porn but just won 8767 t admit it. I don 8767 t watch porn and neither do most of my close female friends (and yes, they are being 655% honest). I would like to say that I know firsthand what porn and porn addiction can do to a marriage. My husband and I have always communicated easily. He knew my feelings about porn and although I had caught him a couple of times in the many years we were married I tried not to make it a huge deal. *censored* did I know he had an addiction that had begun from his early teens into his adulthood Now tell me, if someone has an addiction to something, anything, do you think it 8767 s easy to openly communicate about it? No. It 8767 s not. And I had no idea he had a problem. He was that good at hiding it.
Here is where the problem comes in with porn (and I 8776 m sorry this is a long comment but I had to share in case someone else is going through this too). My husband was finally caught but it wasn 8767 t until our marriage was nearly destroyed. It wasn 8767 t just the porn either but an affair. When he finally opened up about everything, after being caught and facing divorce and the possibility of losing his *censored*ren, here is how he explained it. He said it was an addiction and he knew he had a problem but he thought he had it under control. It wasn 8767 t like he had to look at porn night after night or even to become aroused to be with me. But I knew that porn had taken my place as his wife. He said he would go through periods of time when he didn 8767 t need to watch it and other times when he felt completely out of control. He said it was a darkness that he didn 8767 t know how to get out of. He also explained that he watched things that he would never want to do to me but it was exciting nonetheless, the fantasy of it all. But then porn just wasn 8767 t enough anymore and one day a much *censored* coworker began flirting with him and within a matter of time the flirting turned into a sexual affair that lasted for months. But he also said that the affair wasn 8767 t fulfilling either. He was trapped in this darkness and had fallen into pure temptation and it wasn 8767 t until he was caught that he really woke up. He has been porn free for two years and now he has a code word in the event he feels pulled to watch it. We go for a walk. We snuggle. We talk. But he stays away from the computer until the urge has passed. I believe we are the lucky few who have survived an affair. I was able to forgive him but I will never forget that it all began with pornography that led to an almost destruction of our marriage. It is evil and I don 8767 t care who you are, you can say it will never happen to you (what happened to us) but I said the same thing. Believe me, it 8767 s only a matter of time.